Pay Now or Watch Out For A Sharon Stone!

 

Dear Lanetta,

I was shopping with a friend the other day and while we were in the store, I witnessed her stuffing a bunch of panties inside her purse. She doesn’t know that I saw her stealing the merchandise and I am afraid if I say anything, she will call me a liar and stop being my friend. I love my shopping buddy, but I don’t want her to get arrested. Please help me Lanetta.

Pay Now or Pay Later

 

Dear Pay Now or Pay Later,

I don’t know who this “friend” of yers is, but if she’s that desperate for a pile of panties, she’s got a much bigger problem than those sticky fingers of hers.

Have you asked yerself why she is so inclined to steal panties? Maybe she has a continent problem. Maybe she has a bad case of moths and needs to install one of them cedar closets OR maybe she just wants a pile of “HOT” panties.

Lanetta has found that folks steal for many reasons…mainly cause they is greedy as hell. But some folks steal as sort of a hobby.

Perhaps you need to sign her up for one of them sip, git drunk and paint a picture classes. How bout a ceramics class, cause Lord knows you can never have to many Nativety Scence around the trailer. And then there is always scrapbookin, but them scrapbookin people are crazy as hell and they sorta make folks who steal panties seem ok.

The point is, you’ve got to keep yer thief of a friend busy and away from any and all panties. Cause she is one sick puppy and obvolusly can’t handle her drawers.

If not, she might find herself incarcerated in the state pen and no one wants to tell their cellmate they got throwed in jail for stealing panties.

Miss panty snatcher needs to face the facts and accept that, in order to rid herself of her panty afflicktion, she might be required to do a Sharon Stone for the rest of her natural born life. She just needs to be prepared for the updraft.

Be Blessed,

Lanetta

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