It’s Not My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To

 

Dear Lanetta,

I have been glued to the television watching the Primary Debates and I’m terrified of what I see. I can’t understand why the Republican Party can’t seem to find a suitable candidate to run in the next presidential election. I have been a Republican my entire life, but with no quality candidates to choose from, I’m seriously thinking about switching over to the “Way too Liberal” Democratic party. WWLD?
Sincerely,

Vexed Voter

Dear Vexed Voter,

Are you kid’n me? Is this all you have time to worry about?…WHICH party you are goin to attend? Stop your Whinin and GET A LIFE! At least you got a party to go to!

I’ve not been invited to a party in years and the ones I was invited to, I was (more times then not) asked to leave. Like that time Velma Bates invited me to her ILLEEGITIMUT baby shower and out of the goodness of my heart, I show up with a box of diapers and even still, she gets all up in my face for the simple fact that I told her she ought not have takin up with that gas station attendant (the one that caused the said pregnation). Well she starts rolling that neck and 3 snappin to the air and before I know’d it…Lanetta here has been kicked out of the illeegitimut baby shower…but not before I grabbed them box of diapers I brung.

As for you Vexed Voter, stop watching them stupid deebates and find you a good Lifetime movie to watch. There was a real good one on the other night about that Drew Peterson who killed his wives when he got tired of’em. He suppozaly found one of’em dead in the bathtub from an “Acceedental Drownin” but there wasn’t no water in the tub. I could’ve told you right then and there that something was rotten in DensMarks. Took another wife to die before them police saw the urgencie of the sitchiation. They had to go to wife #2′s grave, exumate her remains and conduct a thurow autotopsy to conclude that she didn’t drown in a tub of no water. Geez-LoWeez! Someone’s been ride’n the short bus in that police station.

Anyhoo, the point of the story is, it don’t matter whose party you attend OR who you vote for. The world is drownin in its on tub of no water, and from the looks of things, not even the most expert CPR’er could save us from all the nonsense that is goin on up there in the Warshington D.C.! STOP BEING STUPID! Save your gas, save your time and skip them votin poles.

Get yourself a six-pack, grab a TV Guide and put your faith into some of them TV deepictions of real life murderers and killers. Forget all that POLITA-CIZEN stuff. I’ll bet you my best Lee jeans, that if you do, the world will seem like a much better place to live and you won’t need nobodies “PARTY” to make you feel complete.

Be Blessed – Lanetta

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